Am I a Time Traveller?
No, this isn’t a philosophical question, and I do not have a Tardis (sadly). Today I’ll describe what it feels like to have a Pictish soul living inside me. Are you interested? Then come to the hut, I’m making stew for us 🙂
Come on in, you’re welcome to sit down. I know, it feels a wee bit “heavy” in here. First of all, I advise you to shield, especially if you’re an empath. I’ll explain why in a second, use your preferred method, nothing too fancy but just don’t stay completely vulnerable to external energies. I’ll wait. Proceed to the next paragraph once you’re ready.
Ever since I was a child, I felt this inexplicable “thing”, and I’ll try to put it into words now that I am a bit more knowledgeable in the Occult. I wouldn’t say it is external to me – rather, I firmly believe it is a part of me – but everyone I know cannot relate, so it isn’t “human nature”, “mediunity” or other common things you hear. I can block it if I feel the need, and do it on a regular basis, especially in my “secular” interactions. Today, however, I wanna trigger it in order to describe it accurately – which is why I asked you to shield.
Whenever I let this unique feeling manifest in all its glory, others can also sense it. I call it “the Pict inside me”. As far as my experience goes, it isn’t only empaths who feel a “vibe” off me that they cannot put into words. Everyone does, regardless of sensitivity. As a kid – and well into adulthood, I won’t lie – I was unable to make sense of it, much less control it, and it may have contributed to the fact I had a tendency to make very few friends…
And keep even fewer. I don’t think the unique thing I feel is in any way harmful to others, but it certainly is unusual – and as we all know, people tend to fear the unknown, or compare it to the closest known thing for them, which isn’t always flattering.
I don’t think the unique thing I feel is in any way harmful to others, but it certainly is unusual – and as we all know, people tend to fear the unknown, or compare it to the closest known thing for them, which isn’t always flattering.
I will not entertain any notions that I have my feelings completely figured out and nothing escapes my understanding. That would be naive… All I’m saying here is that I found a way to plausibly explain it, and the confirmations have been favourable so far. That being said, what I am about to tell you is nowhere near mainstream or commonplace, even in terms of Occultism. So whereas I asked you to stay *energetically* protected, please try not to close your mind. It’s ok, it does not need to make sense to you. I’m not asking you to believe it, either. All I want is for you to stay open-minded before thinking I may be “confused” and “what I’m talking about is ACTUALLY [insert commonplace thing here]”. I’ll tell you straight on: no, it isn’t. It absolutely does not fit into any commonplace category. Trust me, I’m the one who has dealt with it all my life. I wish I could say “oh, it’s spirit channelling” (something I ALSO do), or “it’s dissociative disorder” (but I still feel like “me” when it happens?). Using existing labels would make my life simpler. I tend to go for labels, not run away from them. But this time, I have no choice but to be a “special snowflake”. Sorry.
Appreciate it, for now. Note the strong nutty flavour that enhances everything else. You may be just paying attention to the material parts of the stew – the smell, the taste, the texture… But for me it’s more than that. Dare I say, it’s sacred.
Making this dish is one of the many ways I found for awakening the Pict inside me. It’s probably not the simplest way, but definitely fun. Other (simpler) ways to achieve the same result include (but not limited to):
- Thinking of certain specific Pictish symbols, and really focusing on a mental image of their details and construction;
- Listening to Celtic music, especially instrumental, and really immersing myself in it;
- Wearing certain materials (such as fine wool, tweed, pure linen, silver, etc), and really connecting to the way they feel against my skin;
- Smelling woad dye, heather, bluebell, heather honey or beeswax – and really appreciating how it feels (the first isn’t very pleasant, but works the most).
Today I chose to trigger it via taste, so I’m gonna focus for a second on the flavour of the stew, forgetting all else – as if time had stopped. Now I can just close my eyes and take a deep breath or two. Sometimes, I don’t even need to go that far in order to feel the effect – taste is a strong one.
The first thing I feel is a warm and fuzzy feeling in my chest. It is very strong and dominant, but oh so pleasant!
It quickly evolves into a feeling hard to describe, so I’ll compare it to something odd but similar: ya know when you’re diving peacefully but run out of air and reach to the surface for inhaling again? I don’t mean in a state of panic, but peace instead – the natural thing that happens in a swimming pool. You almost don’t think of it, it’s like an instinct, but I bet you can recall what it feels like.
Good. Now imagine for a moment that you could extend this brief moment of being “breathless but comfortable” without any damage or risk. In a dive I think it lasts a fraction of a second – the feeling I get when I establish connection to the Pict inside me can last for hours. It isn’t entirely the same thing, of course – for instance, I’m still breathing, just very subtly and unaware of it – but it’s similar enough to afford a comparison. Light-hearted and light as a feather, at ease, but very grounded in the “here and now”, somehow enjoying the danger and genuinely happy.
Whenever I trigger this feeling (which in the past used to get triggered at random), I am still the same person I was before triggering it. I perceive the room the very same way; I remain very conscious and in the same plane of existence as I was before. To summarise it all: this isn’t very useful for the kind of magic I usually work, or spirit communication, or anything I would call “practical”. It is simply a state of being that I enjoy and sometimes slip into “for the craic”. Past life memories don’t come during this state – unless of course I was already seeing them before awakening the Pict inside me. It really is its own thing, oddly specific and peaceful.
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Although I haven’t yet found anyone who could relate to this feeling, I thought I should share it with you coz I’m often asked why is it I “claim to be a Pict”. Well, now you know. It only works with very specific triggers, all traditional to Pictland in one way or another.
Things that now exist in Scotland but weren’t around during the Pictish period don’t work – so no, whiskey doesn’t work, in case you’re wondering. Ale does. I guess it could be a useful thing for archaeology, but I don’t think anyone needs me in that field of knowledge anyway – nor do I care.
Source: Asterix and the Picts. A deliciously anachronic cartoon that I recommend very much!
So when I say that I believe I’m a Pict, I’m being literal. It isn’t past life-related (although I did live in Pictland a few times) as it isn’t like a memory – remember I said “very grounded in the here and now”. This Pict lives inside me, it is probably my very soul, or some other core part of my being. It doesn’t go away, ever – by “awakening” it, I am just tuning into its frequency completely, whereas when I say I “block” it (in order for my energy to feel usual) I’m telling the Pictish soul to go sleep for a while.
I spent a good few years blocking it because I was afraid of it – as a result, although I didn’t practice magic, I was almost never grounded (my friends were literally afraid I’d be run over while crossing the streets, for they knew I had a hard time paying attention to things). I felt a lot of emotional pain for apparently no reason, too. It wasn’t until I welcomed my spirit guides (you guessed it, they’re Picts) back into my life that I learned to love and accept the Pict inside me for what it is – and thus learned to stay grounded.
Some people have expressed (usually indirectly) concern over my “obsession with Picts”. I understand them, and thank them for the concern. I know where it comes from. We’re all afraid of the unknown! But I ask them not to worry – I am ok, really. I was born this way, I cannot tell you why (I’d love to know, too), but one thing is for sure: I made peace with my nature.
As for the question in the title: I honestly wish I was a time-traveller! I really wouldn’t mind paying the Picts a visit (yes, I know the potential dangers, not romanticising it). I’m fully aware life in the past would have been a lot more difficult than it is today… But I cannot help wishing I could visit my people in life. I do feel isolated in the present world. Please don’t take it personally! You, my modern friends, are precious and very dear to me. But there is a saying… “no place like home”. It rings true to me, anyway
